Today I drove by the house
Where I first lived with her
The house that love built
And labored through
Before love left
Today I drove by the parking lot
Where my grandmother
Spoke her final words
Laughed her final laughs
Before she left
Tomorrow could define
The places I sat today
As meaningful or empty
When today leaves
Mouth covered by reeds
Clawing through water
At the glittering sun
Above the surface
No screams
No silence
Just your heartbeat
Rhythms in the deep
Face drenched in sunlight
Rays dancing on the surface
Serenity’s lakeside
Beneath the cloud-sails
No screams
No silence
Just your heartbeat
Rhythms in the deep
I’ve been here before
There’s no difference
Broken is broken
Drowned is drowned
Buried is buried
But tomorrow I’ll be above ground
Terrified no more
(Just slightly anxious)
Sunlight
Does the anxiety-wracked body good
(Calms the nerves a bit)
Into my depths of black
Glowing serenity spins
(I think I mean you)
You may be distant
But you aren’t pointless
Detachment is a symptom
Of a beautiful soul
You write about lost love
I write about dying friendships
And chaotic nerves
Balancing
Between panic and panic
Just beyond reach
Crystalline portals
To new worlds
Beyond this one
Of heart rates and clenching
They take the forms
Of night skies
Dancing fields
Miniature hands
Shooting stars
Freckles faces
Celestial sounds
Always visible
Always audible
Always unattainable
Both escape and entrapment
Entryways and exits
There is a fine line
Between trudging wearily
And walking lightly
I’ve danced back and forth
Across that line
Anxiety will do that to a person
In a moment
The tide can turn
From fear to elation
From panic to relief
Back again
In spite of my body
My emotions dance gingerly
Atop the nerves
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